Special Friends

The gorgeous girl on the left is Anne, who has gone to Nepal to teach English in a village school in the country near the border with India. The beauty between Dad and me is Denise. We met at high school over 40 years ago and, when we were at school we spent some holidays at Pt Broughton where Anne hailed from, her father being a farmer there. Although we have sometimes lost touch with each other in the decades since then, we have been in regular contact for the last 20 years at least, making sure we go out for dinner together (with Philip, Denise's husband and my husband) every couple of months.We have shared the grief of our parents' illnesses and/or deaths and the joys and disappointments of our children's lives. Anne's departure for Nepal has dampened our spirits a bit but we know she is passionate about her future there.The top photo was taken at my wedding and we were definitely younger then!!
(Feb 2013 - Anne has been to Nepal twice since 2011, both times teaching. She is home in Unley as I write this but may well return to Nepal every 18 months or so - she certainly feels an amazing affinity with the people and their culture)

 

This one of Denise, Anne and Philip was taken at Anne's 50th fancy dress party.

At high school I also made friends with Barb - we were in the "A" debating team together, were both prefects (Denise was Head Prefect) and enjoyed going to jazz concerts (the free ones in the Festival during it's early years). I would look after her cats when she went away with her parents - they were, to my teenage view of things, the epitome of middle class European (Austrian) gentility. Her Dad was a doctor in his home country but of course, his qualifications weren't recognised here, and her Mum was a nurse whose were. After a couple of years at Uni, I lost touch with Barb and for some reason assumed that she and her husband, Drew, had gone overseas to live. Then at the school's 100th year celebration dinner, there they were and it turns out they have been living in Adelaide all this time. So we promised never to lose contact again, and we try to meet them for a meal every 3 months or so. Jim and Andy are included in this promise and the dinners. As you can see (above) Barb and Drew came to my 60th birthday party.

Another old mate with whom my earlier friendship was re-established at the 100th anniversary was Ned - when we were at school, I was always going to visit his home in Kyancutta (in the middle of the Eyre Peninsula) in one school vacation or another, but it never happened. Finally, last year, more than 30 years late, I did. Ned and his wife, Margaret made us very welcome and we had a truly fabulous holiday with them. We stayed at their beach house on Searcy Bay as well as in their home in Kyancutta, and Ned was a great tour guide, showing us magnificent scenery along the west coast as well as in the Gawler Ranges. From now on, we will keep in contact through email and hopefully, make more trips to Kyancutta.

Here are Ned and Margaret taking a rest on our excursion to the Gawler Ranges.

Apart from friends who "date" back to high school, I am fortunate to have great mates from my days at Medical School. We have been arranging reunions every few years since graduation and this photo comes from our 35th year reunion in 2008. Not everybody from the year attends, of course, but those who do always have an amazing time, sharing stories about our lives, families, employment and the dramas inevitably being experienced by at least one of us! My very best friend from Medical School is Sandy - third from the left sitting down, wearing the bluish shirt. She is a GP in Newcastle, married with 3 adult children and always busy with work, her music and her grandchildren. Eion and I visited her and her husband at the end of 2008 and had the best time. Occasionally she comes to Adelaide to see her step mother and drops in on us. Some of the blokes from Med School have been terrific pals over the years too - Jim (who also went to high school with me) didn't go to this reunion, but Denes (on the right end kneeling behind Juliana who is in pink), John (in the yellow shirt),  Pete (in the middle in the maroon vest), another Peter (aka Munty, back right in red) and Mark (grey beard in the back row) did. Munty was and still is the most consistently funny person I have ever met - he can fashion a joke out of any comment and create a comedy script from any conversation.
At various times, John and Mark had my heart but my friendship with John has cooled over the years (I don't quite understand why) whereas whenever I meet up with the other  guys, it's so easy to chat and share our news.
The male:female ratio in the year was about 4:1 so I got to know all the girls (23 of us) more or less well. The ones at the reunion are (from left to right) Dawn, Bron, Sandy, Jane, Meg, me, Margie and Juliana.

 While I met Jim when we were about 14, Denes was first inroduced to me at Medical School. His wife Kaylene is however an old high school chum too - Adelaide is really very small. In this photo, Jim is standing next to Kay and Jim's wife, Andy, is in the front with me and Eion. It was taken at a superb lunch at Kay and Denes' place last winter.

After graduating from Medical School and completing my intern year, I went to work at The Queen Elizabeth Hospital where obviously, there was plenty of opportunity to make new friends. One of the most special is Jane, who was a nurse there - in fact she still is nursing having made midwifery her specialty. So we have been best buddies for well over 30 years. Her husband, Alan,  was a year behind me in Medical School and I really got to know him at TQEH too. Above, you see Jane with her three children (all adults now) when the eldest was 4 years old and the twins were about 1.

To the right is a pictorial memento of one of our numerous get togethers with Jane and Alan.  And below, she is with me at Mum's wake in 2009. Jane is there for me in everything - the rotten times as well as the good. I don't think I could have a better friend. But when I relapse back into smoking, it is usually because I have been with Jane who has never ever even tried to give it up!

Another great mate from TQEH was Kate - sadly she died (alone and undiscovered for 3 days) from complications related to haemochromatosis in 2006. But when she was alive she was my mad Irish friend. I originally met her husband, an anaesthetist, and then Kate and their two sons became very close to me and my son, the boys all being around the same age. Kate would look after Josh when I had to go interstate on College of Psychiatry business, and we often spent weekends at their place, watching cricket, eating and drinking. She was a witness at my wedding to Eion in 1989. However, she and her husband divorced ( rather acrimonously) and the family more or less fell apart with the two sons going separate ways. Kate had previously been a psychiatric nurse (20 years previously!) and very courageously undertook refresher courses and won her way back into the work force. I tried to keep in touch and met her whenever her shifts and my work diary would allow it, but regrettably, I failed to see her during the Christmas period before her death. She is how I will always remember her in this photto - smiling and having a good time.

Also originally from TQEH days, is Zsoka - she was a social worker in the psychiatric ward there. By the time I went to work at Glenside Hospital she was there too, by now married to a fantastic man called Val. Eion and I became close to both of them and we spent many happy hours in their company. Both had terrible but fascinating stories to tell about their lives and deprivations under the Nazi regime in Europe in the 1930's and 40's. Val died some years ago and for a while we lost touch with Zsoka, but in 2009 we reconnected through another mutual friend, who is also a Claire and now we aim to meet them every few months.

As a registrar and then a consultant with responsibilities for teaching medical students and trainee psychiatrists, I met many young doctors, some of whom were lovely people and a pleasure to teach or work with. These friendships flared brightly for a few years but usually dimmed over time, as we went in different directions and new personal commitments arose. Even so, I count myself lucky to have met and spent time with these folk and know that were we to meet again, we would not only recognise each other but be able to pick up a rapport and slip easily into interesting conversations. Andrew is a special case - he was a senior trainee when I started at Glenside, an intelligent, funny if somewhat histrionic gay guy, who could always be relied on to brighten up the worst day. A few years ago he suffered a brain injury, possibly inflicted by his partner or as a result of a vascular accident (no-one is too sure) while living and working in Melbourne and nearly died, lying unconscious in his apartment for two days before his frantic mother persuaded the superintendent to break in. He is now back in Adelaide, unable to work but managing basic daily activities. However, he is a poor shadow of his former self, and sadly, Eion and I are the only friends from his Glenside days who go to see him.

In my work at senior management level, I made friends with certain colleagues who have stayed in touch even after our employment paths diverged. Among these are Liz, Richenda and Sue, all from the medical administration sphere. We try to meet for lunch every 6 to 8 weeks. Margaret was the Director of Nursing at the hospital where I first worked as a medical administrator and catching up with her is always interesting because her hobbies are fascinating - rose growing, walking, and teaching English to new immmigrants. Megan and I got off to a difficult start with some misunderstandings about our respective roles in our hospital at the time, but we soon discovered we had many things in common, including only sons of the same age and name, a love of crime fiction and a serious interest in improving the quality of health services. Even though I am now retired and Megan has moved to a different  position in a different hospital, we remain connected , mainly through roast chicken lunches at my place on Sundays! (Megan's favourite meal).